Self Portrait.. Yesterday..

Yeah, I was tired yesterday, but.. I was able to do a little freehand.. Of myself.. Eh..


I've finally lost enough weight that I can fit my Slinky^TM over my head, neck and shoulders.. And still keep my eyes open..


Says '1950' in the lower left corner there, but, like I said, man, I was frikkin tired....  

know yer Boobies

Who needs subcutaneous chips?

I love this.. We humans and our toys to distract us; such decent, industrious, cooperative animals, comparable to a bee or an ant.. And studied like one too..

Via: Ars Technica

We'd like to think of ourselves as dynamic, unpredictable individuals, but according to new research, that's not the case at all. In a study published in last week's Science, researchers looked at customer location data culled from cellular service providers. By looking at how customers moved around, the authors of the study found that it may be possible to predict human movement patterns and location up to 93 percent of the time. These findings may be useful in multiple fields, including city planning, mobile communication resource management, and anticipating the spread of viruses.

"Cecil?" the television says...

Cecil sweats an odor that smells of pain.

Those who come near can distinguish between the expressionless game of trite introduction and the masque of blind white desire in the form of life’s most brutal lesson..

We End..

It’s all around all the time.

Can animals see through us? Cecil must know this..

“See through us? What the hell are you sayin?” Cecil queries himself

I mean act? Act out the subconscious desires or feelings we choose to hide underneath a plausible façade..

“Animals? Dude yer talkin crazy. Why not just state the obvious?” Cecil practically yells at himself..

Most of us don’t when it comes to fear, intimidation; we fluster under pressure.. Call it innate that over the years something that scares us we put up mental barricades for..

“So the dogs are acting on some kinda metaphysical, new age physics; some kinda particle consciousness?” Cecil wonders

Why not?

“That’s pretty far out there for us empiricists; Where’s the proof bro?” Asking no one in particular, Cecils’ monologue by the drinking fountain half past the snack machine is noticed by the crazy eye of the only security guard known to pull his gun on small animals on campus…

There is no proof that is the beauty of it..

Our limited perspective keeps us so close to the dark..

This is the night that Cecil will test the theory of entropy..

Forget it all now, Cecil, and pass the little cherry to the sweet tooth..

The cool night calls the subconscious out into the trees.. The campus-forest is deep tonight..

The dew is already forming in its stiff warm branches..

Like someone who is constantly overwrought in explanation yet has nothing to say, Cecil will know what it means to lick inertia’s breast..

Kirby had never eaten toes before....

The Enchanted Garden of Mendeleev.. Otherwise known as the periodic chart… Y’see, Dimitri Mendeleev was playin Solitare one night whilst ruminating and he fell asleep at his desk.. He awoke from a dream and the Russian chemist proceeded to create the Periodic Chart of Elements.. It is odd to think that some of our most amazing discoveries and life changing creations have not come from think tanks or special research groups but, from the subconscious collective pool that we venture to in our sleep.. Amazing, also, that a simple game of suits such as Solitaire had an influence on the creation of the elements that make up the known universe..

I was babbling to myself on the way home from Borders tonight about a possible message for my voice mail.. It goes a little something like this:

“Hey, you’ve reached ____________.. Kindly leave me a message; I’ll get back at you as soon as I can..

(pause)…..

But, don’t be alarmed if ________________ doesn’t get back to you right away; there’s a simple explanation for it.. Y’see, _________, unfortunately or fortunately depending on yer perspective, suffers from an affliction called ‘The Phantom Ring’ When this little gadget screams to be pressed to ____________ ear and hum it’s deadly gigahertz frequency enticing and energizing my water molecules with wild radioactive isotopes, __________ always seems to phase it out.. However conscious or unconscious, the ring goes on and on until the this trusty message logs your call.. It is then that ________________ realizes he has a phone and calls you back.. Please don’t take this personally as it is by no fault of his own that he’s developed this defense mechanism in this age of sensory numbing gadgetry.. He honestly loves you all and will get back to you just as soon as he realizes his dilemma.. P.S. _____________ is a Third Person…”

A little overwrought I know, but, truthful none the less..

Death to all Synthetic corporate insects..

Believe in Auras and find yer Mandala in yer local coffee house waste basket..

And someone please give me my Haloperidal since I’m third force now..

I feel the curse coming on…

Party…

Jesus Christ Pose...

There are a series of ads on Craig's List down here in the Valley of Bling that tout borderline minimum wage-like working conditions (aka third-world-sweatshops) that offer you nothing for everything you've ever learned... Yes, they want it all for 4 pennies a day.. Check it out:

..here's a typical ad -

Customer Service/Admin/web site support (Mesa)

---

Date: 2010-02-02, 10:02AM MST
Reply to:********

---

This position pays $11.50 to start and you must have ALL job skills and education as listed below and be willing to preform all listed duties to be considered (no exceptions). If you/your skills are a match for this position, email a resume to apply.

This position is for Admin/Customer Service support in a fast paced home warranty company located in Mesa at Alma School and Baseline. We manage and service homeowners repair needs per a contract. When customers need repairs at their home, they call us. We then dispatch the service request to contractors in our service network. For more information about the company, go to  www.americanhomeguardian.com.

Duties include:
Taking and entering home warranty orders in our client data base, dispatching service requests, answering customer questions when they call, bulk mailing, filing, picking up office supplies, making nightly deposits at the bank, faxing, copying, updating web site, and other general administrative tasks as assigned.

Job Skills and Requirements:
STRONG WRITTEN ENGLISH SKILLS ARE A MUST! GOOD SPELLING AND PROOF READING SKILLS ARE REQUIRED.

************* MUST BE ABLE TO UPDATE WEB SITE AND CREATE NEW WEB PAGES/SITES FROM SCRATCH USING DREAMWEAVER************

Must type proficiently

Quick learner

Excellent knowledge of word, excel, email and general PC skills are mandatory.

Must be reliable and trustworthy.

Must have excellent customer service skills and a desire to help people.

Excellent attention to details.

If a customer has a complaint or issue of any kind, you must remain calm and rational at all times.

This job does require “thick skin” and a positive attitude.

***** MUST BE WILLING TO SIGN AN EMPLOYMENT CONTRACT THAT REQUIRES A MINIMUM OF 1 YEAR OF EMPLOYMENT****

Work Hours:

8:00 to 3:00 Monday – Friday and one Saturday per month from 9:00 to 4:00. In the summer months (May – September) The required work hours will be 7:30 to 4:30.

Reliable transportation is required to get you to work everyday on time.

Physical Requirements:

Must be able to sit at a desk in front of a computer and on the phone for the majority of the day.
Lift about 20-30 lbs (paper boxes).


Education Requirement:
High School Diploma + some college is the minimum.

• Location: Mesa
• Compensation: $10.50 to start. Increase Available after 90 days.
• Principals only. Recruiters, please don't contact this job poster.
• Please, no phone calls about this job!
• Please do not contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests.

PostingID: 1582428012

..And here's Momo and I's reply..

To Whom It May Concern:

In reading your Craigslist advertisement (I've copied it below) for the position of Customer Service/Admin/Website Support/Receptionist/Shipping Specialist/Courier/Data Entry Professional/Thick-Skinned Literary Master with Superior Business Correspondence and Inter-/Intrapersonal Skills at your Mesa location, I found myself wondering how best to reply.

Thing is, I was so excited by your ad...I started to cry.  My Grandma, with whom I've lived for the last two and a half years due to the brutal effects of the current economic breakdown and pending total social collapse - which has left me completely bereft and destitute - bolted into the garage to see what was the matter.  (Gran's garage is where I sleep at present, as her unit senior living facility has only one bedroom, and since I cannot afford a bed anyway, it works out okay, 'cause I just sleep on Dad's old creeper...he always kept the wheels well-oiled, or rather he did before he exited to the next life after a massive heart attack...old Doc Warren never said it outright, but he implied it may've been brought on by the stress of having been released from his employ in two-thousand-ought-six after 32 years of faithful service; corporate downsizing, the company called it, 'cept as it turned out, his former employer ended up moving Dad's old department to China and giving his job (well, a job whose description matched Dad's old position to a "T", anyway) to a 14 year-old hill-kid from the Nan mountain range who had learned the bulk of his English from an incomplete set of scratchy Berlitz records left behind the village privy by a tourist and erstwhile do-gooder sometime in the mid-1970s.)

"Grammyma!" I exclaimed, "Just look at this ad!  I've found the perfect job!  The requirements encompass every single thing I've ever done at ANY job over the last 27 years!  And, while I'm exercising all the skills I've ever learned, they'll pay me the princely sum of $11.50 per hour to start (or is it $10.50 with a potential increase after 90 days?)  Heck, I don't care.  I'm still all aglow! AND...brace yourself, Grandma...I'll get to give up one Saturday a month, too!"

"That's wonderful, honey," Gran said, "But...why are you crying?"

Wiping crystalline snot from my upper lip, I replied, "Well, Grandma, you know how I've always had a predilection for pain?"

"Yes..."

"...and, I've always been obsessed with bondage, humiliation and discipline, and how I've desperately longed to be a slave-driven minion?"

"Of course, honey.  Like father, like son!  Why, I remember it like it was yesterday, you were just a little tyke, we were late for church and your poor Mother was frantic! just frantic! looking everywhere for you, and what do you know?  There you were, back of the shed, using that frayed old toaster cord as a flagrum, rhythmically attacking the soles of your tiny feet..."

"Well, anyway, this...this amazing once-in-a-lifetime opportunity I found on Craigslist will allow me not only to exercise every last one of my skills and experience every minute of every eight to twelve hours of every day I'm there...but...get this, Gran:  They're demanding that I sign a contract wherein I virtually give over my very body, heart and soul, for ONE...WHOLE...YEAR!  I mean, gee, do you think they might let me wear my ball-gag and zippered mask to the office?  If I'm very, very good, I mean?"

"Well, perhaps, dear...but doesn't this whole thing smack of indentured servitude?  And, while indentured slaves were part of the social landscape of the 1600's, and even after the Revolution, didn't they eventually go out of vogue in favor of the full-fledged enslavement of Africans unlucky enough to have survived that rough passage to the Americas, packed against their will into the bowels of the filthy slaveships like so many dusky sardines?  And, as best I can recall, wasn't slavery itself abolished by writ of the 13th Amendment to the United States Constitution?"

"Well, I don't know all that much about the, ah, const...cotit...caaaah...umm...coxstahoobie?..,"

"It's called the 'Constitution of the United States,' dear."

"...yeah, that thing, whatever..."

"...well, anyway, sweetheart, Grammy's pretty sure that most states in this once-great country of ours are still Employment At-Will states, aren't they?  Even this denizen of conservative clout, the land of the Eternal Fox News Watcher, the State of Arizona?  And, doesn't that mean that, in the absence of a mutually agreed-upon, signed and witnessed legal document (let's call it a "contract," for the sake of brevity) employers generally may fire employees for any reasons, no reasons and even unfair reasons, so long as they are not illegal reasons, and, employees also have the right to quit a job for any or no reason at any time?  Of course, if you want to sign a contract for one year, for and $11.50 per hour (or was that $10.50?  I have to agree, that ad is somewhat confusing...).  Anyway, honey," she said, smoothing out her housecoat, "you're a grown man, and it's up to you.  Times are tough, no doubt about it, but if it were me, I guess I wouldn't sign my life away like that for anything other than to defend my kith, kin and country in a time of real war against real enemies..."

"...whaaaaaaa????"

"That's okay dear.  Maybe the family should have gone the home-school route and foregone that silly public education, hmm?"

"Yeah.  Hey, maybe they've got a dungeon in the basement, huh?"

"Yes, honey.  That sounds very nice."

Sincerely,

Clyde Lee Demure

P.S. to Potential Employer:  Best wishes finding your Ideal Employee!

It just needed to be done, damnit!.. 

Give a hoot, Don't pollute! Help keep Americaaaaa from corporate greeeeeeeeed....

Loyalty, Fealty, Allegiance..

Hello, I’m drew karpashyn.. Oh, did I misspell my name? Damn! Well, that’s not even my name anyway.. As you can see I didn’t even capitalize it either.. And No, I do not like E.E. Cummings (personally, myself and I don't understand poetry and think that he SHOULD have capitalize his damn name!) It’s just some nom-de-Plume, pseudonym, alias I’ve taken on to write Star Wars drivel, babble, blather for comicon clowns, jesters, lark abouts like Derrick and Scott and Bill and Freddy etc., et.al., all of the above!! Did I happen to express my vehemence, hatred, animosity for derrick? He’s a complete asshole for marketing me without my permission, allowance and consent.. His fealty, allegiance and loyalty is misshapen and fledgling at best… Not to mention sycophantic, leeching and suckling.. Anyway, this is my introduction to pincerspike.blogspot.com for Shawn Korhel.. He wrote to me and asked me if I’d sport 78 adjectives, descriptors and words (if you will) for a blogpost to his blog and all things blog..

First, initially, at the outset, I’d like to comment, remark upon and provide an analysis of Shawn Korhel’s recent reading of my Masterwork, Darth Bane: Path of Destruction. S.K. initiated, began and started this reading shortly after the dawn, beginning and commencement of this Earth Year, CE Two-Thousand-and-Ten. The reading, which started as.. Oh wait, my wife, my spouse, my betrothed beckons I must sift cats dung, refuse, droppings, spoor from his latrine, asshouse, shitbox..

To be continued, redressed, started again at a later date..

Is that a _______, in his pocket, or is Dick Cheney really happy to see you?

Take this photo, for instance..

Study it; not that I have, but..

Do you see an extra-ordinary enormity in the nether regions of this demon? I guess you'd have to be blind, in complete denial, a prude or just plain subsumed in narcissistic joy not to see it.. Notice the little girl right beneath this ephemeral artery sucking monster almost eclipsed by the ice cream man (giving Cheney such mirth I wonder what's really going on in that horn he calls his head).. Everything about this photo scares me..

I realize that this photo is old news but, in happening upon it again whilst doing a google search on 'Dick Cheney Still Loves Children' or 'What heart is Dick Cheney feeding on today' or maybe the ever popular 'Dick Cheney's just wants to kill' (if only for the sole reason of creating new and unique search phrases revolving around Dick's evil foul putrid blemish in this existence that will forever remain in Googles Key-Words logs..) I realized something..

All those months ago buried deep in a really good horror story by one of my favorite authors, I wondered if there truly were Demons.. I'm not a religious type by any means but, when Shirley wrote of them in his novel Demons (and accurately described this existence in 'A View From Hell')it made me think, he's got the description so keyed in I can actually see one of these things.. Scared me for a bit.. And, no, I actually wasn't visualizing Cheney..

Now, the photo above kinda confirms it..

And this omen, I mean photo, should've had the caption -



After this picture was taken, in a feverishly odd chain of events comprised of utter death and destruction, each bumper car driver was killed, maimed, used as fertilizer, heavily drugged and then killed or simply irradiated..

Demons, heh.. They're real.. Consider yourself warned..

Full Unedited Video Of O'Reilly Interviewing John Stewart