“I can’t, I can’t do it!?! When will it ever stop!!” – My Skin..
Shawn awoke today from far too much sleep.. After listening to his cell phone alarm go off (like it does every morning) and then turning it off at 6:47 am that should have been ‘time to get up’ time.. nope..
Loaf.. and more Loaf..
Rainy day = loaf.. What might ‘loaf’ mean? Or better yet how would Shawn describe Loaf?
Imagine a turd that’s been floating in a toilet for about 4 days.. Pretty crass visual eh? Yeah, that’s as clear as Shawn would get to describing what it is to loaf.
When I human ‘loafs’ or the plural ‘loaves’, they get up in the morning and through on the clothes they had on the night before.. Hell, they may not even throw clothes on; they might just get back into pajamas or the like and they loaf.. Loafing is close to laziness but it’s not due to the fact that ‘Loafing’ entails sitting on Chairs, couches, the toilet, the floor what have you.. Other loafing activities include – eating, picking (usually areas on the body), standing still for minutes at a time staring off into space, no strenuous activity of any kind, yawning etc.
Shawn sees himself (or convinces himself through mind chatter that occasionally becomes vocal in some slur of self babble) that his loafing has an edge to it. What does Shawn mean by ‘having an edge’ to loafing?
Well, aside from the fact that that statement is completely oxymoronic (based on the definition above) and borderline retarded, there’s actually some ratiocination to the structure of Shawn’s belief that there are degrees of ‘loaf’ and that he is some sort of paragon of Loaf.
Shawn’s ‘edge’ in loaf comes from standards he set for himself back in his pig-riding days when he thought he could have a farm in rural Littleton Colorado..
What? No wait, wrong story..
Shawn’s loaf edge comes from one activity that he managed to do today that doesn’t fall under the category of ‘loaf’
Yes, like a good little slave, Shawn was actually cognizant enough to pay his bills..
This activity nearly killed him..
If it weren’t for the fact that he taught himself how to ‘hiemlich-your-self’ from some random website he found the other night, the drool that started to flow from bill paying would surely have reached his lungs, heart, and possibly his brain..
Shawn is now back in his chair loafing.. Wiping drool of his torso and legs..
One shouldn’t really attempt thought during loaf hours..
However, Shawn, due to almost killing himself paying his bills in the middle of loaf, attempts a question..
‘Maybe I should’ve never got up today..?’
Had it been any other question – say the possibility of bilingual areas failing in Wernicki’s area of the brain or if psychoactive Plants could cause goats to spew Satanic 70’s lyrics; or maybe some hypothetical like, who would win an IM relay in Lake Titicaca between Tezcatlipoca and Quetzalcoatl given that they are wearing Conquistador armor – Shawn may not have survived; possibly self-combusting or convulsing till he snapped his own neck..
Thankfully Shawn’s attempt at thought only caused the oxygen to stop going to his brain thus rendering him unconscious..
More later..
