Circa 1986..

I awoke that year with hairspray in my nostrils.. Don't get me wrong, I wasn't asleep the whole year but, dodging and running and skulking in the shadows; trying everything to avert myself from any car stereos playing glam rock in the general vicinity, became a task that drained me of my life blood. Every so often, beleaguered and spent I stumbled to my basement bed for rest..

So I'm in the basement of the three story house I was living in and I awake to the smell of hairspray.. I was scared.. You know how they say cats can awake completely alert and ready to kill or lick their ass if need be? Well, that was me.. I was up on me feet on the bed within milliseconds sniffing the air like a proto human.. Hairspray?! There was fear.. Sure.. After all I'd spent my life picketing, denouncing, name-calling, rioting boycotting all forms of glam rock and glam rock sycophants, so the first thing that came to mind was the possibility that some glam band was near playing some venue nearby..

I stopped and let my left side kick in.. Logic and reason impeccably linear, often impotent to the spectrum of events culminating and fading away from some point because a didn't follow b didn't follow c..

Why would there be a glam band playing near these pathetic cracker box burbs?

No, relieved at the semblance of control that my left side mastered I took it a step further..

The only other theoretically provable explanation for hair spray pervading a 2700 square ft. three story house would be that it was Friday and my sister was goin out..

Look at her.. idn't she cute? Looks just like some exotic bird..

Love ya sis..